Clarification: even if the jukebox at Mango�s had let me play Eartha Kitt, I don�t think I�d be going back there anyway, because it is just plain gross, a little bit of Kirkland in the middle of Capitol Hill. There were all kinds of overgrown frat boys in fleece vests yelling "Dude!" and "�Sup, dawg?" to each other across the bar. Just plain gross. Two nights ago, on the eve of Stephen�s departure for England, we went with him and Dave to the non-gross Cha Cha, where immediately upon walking in I had a close encounter with a certain ex of mine who was sitting at the bar. Yawn. I debuted the slutty shirt I got last month at the Cube and a guy I didn�t know brought me a glass of water when I started coughing. Shirt works! And later, bourbon fueled and in the context of talking about the interview with Bible Bob � who did want to hire me, by the way � and my prospective crap future on the employment and financial tips, I told them about the idea for the book project that I�ve had percolating for a while. I don�t even know how serious I am about it, I mean how viable it is, so I have hereby decided it would be lame to keep being all Minister of Information. Also, friendly support is nice. Here�s me making some notes: 1. Steve asked me how long I think I�d need to be working on it if I put in 20 hours a week. I said six months but a lot would depend on how fast other people got back to me, how fast I could get/be put in touch with other people in the first place, not to mention that the publishing connections I used to have I think it�s fair to say are now disconnected. 2. Sorry I�m being cryptic. 3. The guys said, No, don�t make it a non-fiction book, that will never work. Write it as a novel instead. And I wanted to say, "No, but it *is* a non-fiction book" � but of course it isn�t anything, is it? It surprised me how vehement they were about the matter, I felt as though a focus group had yielded unexpected results and I should take notice. 4. It�s true that not everyone has my wahrheitlust, I mean in the (non-self-congratulatory and occasionally even self-destructive) sense of the diary, the record, etc. What�s also true is that non-fiction can get you sued for libel. It�s a consideration. 5. What if I could fictionalize it, what if let�s say instead of the non-fiction book it was a novel about the girl who�s writing the non-fiction book? 6. If I end up having to take something like a back-office secretarial job and I don�t mean temping, I am probably going to need to have something secret (and, ha, Minister of Information-ish) to keep myself from going insane. A novel would do. 7. Note please, this ain�t literature we�re talking about here. This would be a product aimed squarely at a market sector, this would be a potential money-making venture. This would contain zero soul and would not be Art. So don't get any ideas.

I had something else I wanted to write here and I can�t remember what it is. And now I�m sorry I mentioned any of the above, because I don�t want to seem to give it more weight than it deserves. I�m feeling crummy about life in general right at this moment, but it�s not the kind of crummy you die from. It�s a good night to stay in and be domestic, drink some wine and eat some ice cream, and go to sleep on the early side so I can head off to Portland tomorrow. Blah. Flu�s all but gone, though. That�s something, right?

I am going to start studying German next week.