� Mrs. Roboto (the real one) replying to a help-me-ladies e-mail I sent out today after I talked to the hiring manager at Gastro

My kingdom for a pap smear!

� me to Catharine, in help-me-ladies follow-up discussion

A White House estimate shows that administration officials are expecting President Bush's tax plan to generate only 190,000 jobs in 2003, a small number when compared to the 1.5 million jobs that have disappeared over the past two years.

� Edmund L. Andrews, in "Near-Term Benefits of Fiscal Plan Are Debated" (NYT today; I am adding this nugget an hour and a half after posting the original entry)

"Disappeared." Think about it. 1.5 million.

You probably saw this shit coming, because in this respect you are probably savvier than I am because let�s face facts it would be hard not to be: they want to hire me permanently and give me the health insurance, thank god, that I so richly deserve. On the other hand, I am funny to use the words "rich" and "deserve" in any context, because the proposed mid-range salary is staggeringly low, less than I�ve made since 1997 and about 20% less than what I figured would be their absolute lowball offer.

I want health insurance so so so badly, I cannot even tell you. The market in Seattle really is this bad for "mid-career" types like me.

What do you think I should do? Since the money they�d be offering me is only a tiny bit more than I�m making temping (and isn�t that weird?), I�m halfway inclined to say no thanks and go back to the temp agency while taking on, essentially, a self-assigned part-time job of finding a real one that doesn�t pay peanuts. On the other hand, I do not know how this would affect my burgeoning but still tenuous emotional equilibrium, for which you may recall my having said on several occasions over the past months that I'd be willing to give up a ransom in salary. Discuss amongst yourselves: being careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

I also do not want anyone to think I�m a sellout on account of how much I want health insurance. I do not want to have to defend my personal priorities.

I could go to Herr Doktor this afternoon � the HR lady gave me a day to think things over � and see if since he likes me so much and wants me to stay (and frankly has plans for me and my particular skillset which would fall outside of the purview of almost anyone hired into this position), he�s willing to put the press on for me to start at the high end of the scale. Also remember that he once offered to talk to friends of his within the organization � all right, it�s a hospital � who had "more challenging" (read: "better paying") positions open and tell them what a corker I was. Like, that can�t hurt, right? Or can it?

And Mrs. Roboto is right. The good side of such a skimpy paycheck would be huge motivation (a) to make goddamn sure I get into grad school for Fall 2004 and (b) to look for a brighter scenario even while sitting on my health-insured ass right here at gastro, and to bring to it the energy that has been so dissipated on the generalized employment anxiety of the last Way Too Long. And, fuck, if I really start feeling like a pauper, I still have a little bit of slush fund left.

You are my homies. Help. Send mail or sign the guestbook. Until Mrs. Roboto wrote I was leaning uncommittedly towards telling them to take their job and shove it, returning to tempitude with dignity and perhaps a better sense of my bottom line (not to be confused with my hypothetical health-insured ass). Other correspondents disagree with Mrs. Roboto, and my sister�s advice was, "Marry a man who has good health insurance" � oh, OK � or, barring that in the next 24 hours, to talk to the doc and if it�s no dice for more dineros, walk. I don�t know how much of a hardass I want to be, and it makes me dizzy trying to figure out how much of one I can afford to be. And whither dignity in the first place?

Any advice rabidly appreciated. I will write more tomorrow.

P.S. Ooh, I wonder if there's a mental-health benefit.